The Game of The twigs
by TheDandelion
Summary: Ch9up!. HBP spoilers. DMHG, WIP, War changes people, and it had changed Malfoy a lot. Who would have thought that he would endanger his own life to save mine?
1. Chapter 1

**A\N: **This is my first long story. This is from Hermione's POV.

**Disclaimer: **Nothing is mine.

**CHAPTER ONE:**

Harry said that we should draw straws.

At first, we all agreed, but when he brought the twigs we all refused.

We were five aurors, sitting quietly in a circle and staring at the branchlets in Harry's hand with pale faces. The damp walls of the cave had blocked the daylight and we could see Harry's determined face through the flickering light of Ron's wand.

Harry held the five twigs before our faces, then broke one of them and hid the twigs behind himself. After some painfully long seconds, he showed the twigs again. The five peices of wood were placed between his fingers and were watching us teasingly.

Harry stretched his hand, "Pull one!" He whispered.

None of us had the courage to pull one of the twigs. The owner of the broken twig would do the mission and none of us wanted that. We stared at the twigs and then a curse hit the outer wall of the cave and sent small stones pouring on our heads.

My throat dried and stang. It couldn't wait any longer, otherwise the other four would keep on finding excuses and arguing and jumping to conclusions that I am the best one to do the job. I stretched my hand to pull the first twig but Harry drew his hand back and smirked.

" No twigs, you're going."

I wanted to say something but the others took advantage and said in a chorus that 'you should go, you're the best' and 'the idea of lottery was pure mistake' . I looked at their pleading faces, It'd been three days. Three long days since we got trapped in that cave and we were running out of our food stocks. Deatheaters had chased us to this place, the mountains around Hogsmeade, and had placed anti-apparation wards all around the cave we had taken shelter in.

And we didn't know how many deatheaters were surrounding us, so we couldn't risk getting caught off guard when encountering their superior number.

And they didn't know how many aurors were hiding in the cave, that was why they hadn't attacked us already.

I looked around the poorly lit cave, and grabbed my wand. I couldn't say that I was mad at Harry, he was right, Ron and Ginny and Dean were right. I was the best one to do the mission. I was not as important as Harry, nor as careless as Ron.

I raised to my feet reluctantly and turned on my heel to exit the cave, I could feel the weight of their stares on my retreating back.

"Be carefull!" Came the coarse whisper of Ron, I turned my head and gave him a pale smile.

I was shaking and sweating.

I wanted to keep my back straight, but with every step that I took I thought that the ground was swallowing me more and more.

I thought of turning and running back to the safety of the dark cave, but it was too late, I had already entered the front of the cave.

The dying sunlight penetrated my eyes and the cold air bit my sweaty skin. I tried to keep my eyes open and looked around in search of black robes.

_None..._

I scanned the place more, heaps of stones and burnt ashes and large rocks, and the setting sun had tinged them red.

_None..._

I looked back at the cave and saw the other four crouching near the entrance of the cave, staring at me with their wands ready. And then I turned my head and looked at the burnt ashes again.

_None..._

I sighed in relief.

I was the bait, but there was no predator at sight.

I sighed in relief again.

_None..._

And turned back to join my friends.

**"Hey you!"**

_None..._?

And I stopped dead in my place, and stared at the four aurors crouching before me, the red light of the sun playing on their pale faces.

**"Throw your wand away!"**

Harry made a gesture, trying to tell me to listen to the voice. I threw my wand away, and I saw it roll down the steep hill in slow-motion, and vanish in the darkness below.

**"Are you alone?"**

The four crouching figures, the aurors, my friend, crawled back into the darkness of the cave.

And I wanted to scream no! There are four cowards with me.

"Y-Yes... I'm alone." I felt tears well in my eyes.

**"Take one step back, and don't try to be smart, I have my wand aimed at you."** The voice hissed angrily.

I took one step back, and didn't try to be smart. He had his wand aimed at me, after all. I stared at the darkness of the cave, begging with my eyes, not blinking.

**"Now, turn back and show us your face."**

I did as what he said. And the world seemed to come into a halt. Nothing was moving, nothing was making a sound.

And the voice seemed to be gone.

Or maybe he was too surprised to utter a word.

And then all I saw was a flurry of black robes and red hair and glasses and deep, deep, grey eyes.

And then, blackness. Simple, and comforting blackness.

**A\N:** I know this chapter was very short, the others will be longer, I promise. By the way, why my stories get so many hits and very very few reviews? Is it really that hard to review? Don't you know that reviews are like food to authors? Do you want me to starve? If you don't, then push that button and REVIEW!!!


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

Harry said that we should draw straws.

But I didn't draw straws, straws were already drawn for me.

And you have no ideas how much I hated this war, this goddamned war that didn't want to end.

And that goddamn night, that I was wasting there, in that corner, in that mountain.

I glared at the worn-out signpost above my head and prayed it would stop tapping on it's pole. Something was written on it but I didn't read it.

Instead, I prayed that the wind would stop blowing, it made my wound itch. I licked my dry lip and swallowed to get rid of the damn sour taste in my mouth, but it made my throat ache. And I prayed that Harry would find me and rid me of those spiders crawling under my cothes.

From there, I could see my left arm, oh and I wished I were blind and couldn't see it. My arm, my lovely arm was deformed so bad that it looked like one of the damn twigs in Harry's hand.

I felt sorry for my arm, and for myself, and the sympathy was too great that it made me cry. I sobbed painfully and every sob sent waves of pain coursing through my body and the tears started roling down my temples, since my head was suspended in the air.

I was miserable, pitiful and pathetic.

And I cursed the damn war that didn't want to end, and cried some more.

And maybe, if he hadn't interrupted me, I would die on the edge of that rock, with my suspended head swaying with every sob.

I stopped crying when I heard his whimper, and looked around in search of it's owner. And I saw him just a few inches down my head. He had laid face down and had broken limps. I couldn't say whose condition was worse, his or mine?

And I could see his pale blonde hair shining in the pale moonlight. I knew who he was, I swear I knew. I saw his black robe, his pale hands, his silvery hair. He was Draco Malfoy, I remembered seeing his eyes, and God, it was him! He was the one speaking to me earlier. He was the deatheater behind that piles of ash, I just didn't recognize his voice.

And it wasn't my fault, I hadn't seen him for three years and certainly his voice had changed through those years. Or perhaps he had changed his voice deliberately at that moment, to make it more menacing and inflict more fear.

Have you ever fell victim to your own mind's games? When it keeps asking inconsequential questions when you have something important to think about?

Well, I have, and this was one of those times, I was Dying, Draco Malfoy was dying, and I kept debating myself why I hadn't recognized Malfoy's voice.

Malfoy interrupted my train of thought again, by turning his head and showing me his bruised cheek. I wished my cheeks weren't bruised, because it looked disgusting. And then I laughed cruelly at my thought, my whole life was disgusting at that moment.

And that made my tears start rolling down my temples and vanish into my unruly curls again. Malfoy came into consciousness with the sound of my laughter. I watched him quietly, almost amused by his pathetic attempts to move. And I laughed cruelly again when he tried to get up on his knees and fell down and his face distorted in unbearable pain.

War changes people, and this damn war that didn't want to end, had changed me very much. If it was before the war, I would sympathize him, even help him. But now I enjoy seeing him in pain, and I want to savor the moment.

Not that I was stone-hearted or something, but it was all his fault. It was his fault that I didn't have the permission to pull any twigs, it was his fault that the blood had gathered so much in my head that it seemed to explode, it was his fault that the air was so cold that I could feel my lungs freeze with every breath I took, and it was his fault that I was so cruel that I wished that I would die...

I cried again. And he tried to look up, but his face became distorted in pain again.

"Don't look up, it's me, Granger." I whispered and sniffled. We both were silent for quite some time.

"Well... hi..." He whispered awkwardly.

And the sound of my sobs broke the silence of the damn night.

And the wind kept blowing and tousling his silvery hair.

And the wind kept blowing and drying my unceasing tears.

"Are you crying Granger?" I hardly heard his whisper, and for some strange reason, I stopped crying.

"Granger?" He whispered again, his voice was muffled. I could see his strong profile, and his bruised cheek.

"Am I dying Granger?" I didn't know.

"Are you dying? Is it why you're crying?" I was surprised, I was crying because I felt miserable. Was I really dying... ?

And it made my stomache fill with dread.

"Can you hear me Granger?" He whispered painfully, it was obvious that speaking increased his pain and yet, he kept asking me questions.

"What happened to me?" It was my voice.

"I don't know, I saw you rolling down the hill, I caught you and then..." The damn silence engulfed us again, only disturbed by the sound of the signpost tapping on it's pole.

**He had tried to catch me...**

"I saw Weasly charging at me..."

**He had tried to save me...**

"I think we both fell down..."

**He had fallen down with me...**

"And then I was knocked unconscious... "

And the silence...

"How about Ron?" I sniffled again.

"I think he was captured by the rest of us."

**Ron was captured, and so were Harry and Ginny and Dean...**

"How many deatheaters were there?" I asked abruptly.

"I'm not sure, Granger. My father had asked for reinforcement... "

**No, please...**

The world seemed to spin around me, and the pain, the pain was killing me.

I sobbed painfully again.

"Granger, stop crying, your filthy tears are pouring on me..." He tried to drawl haughtily, but his voice broke...

And he sobbed along with me.

I could see his body shiver with every sob. And I could see his shiny tears roll down the bridge of his perfect nose.

You know, war changes people, and this damn war that didn't want to end, had changed me.

And it seemed like Draco Malfoy had been changed too.

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"Can you hear me Granger?" He asked for the thousandth time. And he tried to roll over when I didn't answer, but failed again. I watched him, tears silently rolled down my temples.

Something in my stomache felt really bad, and I couldn't feel my left arm anymore. I didn't have the courage to look at it. Even if I was brave enough, I wasn't strong enough. Darkness tinged the corners of my vision and I could see the shadow of death looming over me.

Or maybe loomig over us, I couldn't hear his shaky breaths anymore.

I checked him, I couldn't say if he was alive, but I still could see his shiny tears gathered in the inner corner of his closed eyelid.

"Malfoy?" I said hesitantly. He opened his eyes and sent the tear rolling down his nose again.

"Granger..." He merely whipered. And I felt strangely happy that I was not alone.

That I was not the only one drenched in pain, the only one left behind.

"Granger I'm thirsty..."

"Like I'm not Malfoy."

"I just want to die."

"Like I don't Malfoy."

The sky groaned.

"Have you tried to move Granger? Do you have any broken limbs?"

"Malfoy... my whole body is broken" The hollow sound of my cruel laughter resonated in the night again. "I don't know why I'm still alive."

"How about your wand?"

"I threw it away, thanks to you Malfoy. Have you forgotten?"

"But my wand is here, I can see it, can you see it too?"

I looked around, there was no wand, but I saw a broken piece of wood near Malfoy's sprawled body, it didn't look like a wand...

"It's broken."

"I know Granger, I think I can grab it."

"I don't think you could use it, it's broken Malfoy."

"I said I know Granger, but it's our only hope."

The sky groaned again.

He tried to move his broken hand. Droplets of sweat became evident on his bloody forehead. He was using all his strength to reach the broken wand. After some time, his finger tips touched the uneven surface of the broken part. He dragged his wand to his side and started panting, sweat poured off his brow.

"What are we going to do now?" I asked lightheadedly, I was losing consciousness.

"I'll try to contact someone." He said briefly.

"Malfoy?"

It was getting harder and harder for me to speak.

"What?"

"You... call... deatheaters?"

"Mal... foy?"

"No Granger." He answered harshly.

I didn't find the strength to ask him who he was going to call. I just wanted to sleep, to float leisurely in the comforting blackness which was engulfing me.

And I felt raindrops splash on my face.

"Granger?"

sleep is beautiful...

"Granger? Do you hear me?"

Leave me alone... let me sleep.

"Granger, are you crying again? Or it's raining?"

Just let me sleep...

"Granger? GRANGER... at least sniffle or something, make a sound!"

Get lost...

"Granger... Are you alive?" Urgency filled his voice.

"Granger please... say something... I've set a beacon here, somebody will come and save us... Granger?"

"Let... me... " I muttered.

"Let you what Granger? Granger talk to me!"

"... sleep..."

"NO!! Granger, NO... You must not sleep, you understand? NO SLEEP!"

I was sinking into a peacefull blankness, and I felt so light, like a feather swaying in wind.

And I wanted to fly, to leave behind the damn war...

That never seemed to end...

The sweet scent of rain filled my nostrils.

I distantly heard something move, and I heard Malfoy groan and swear.

Then I felt something warm against my wet cheek.

"Granger?" His voice was so near, so near...

"Granger... don't leave me..."

My heartbeat was slowing and my lungs felt so, so heavy.

Something embraced my head and I felt blood run out of it easily, and God... it felt so good...

"Granger..." He whispered in my ear.

I'm sorry Malfoy, I have to go...

"Granger... Please..."

You're so cute when you're pleading Malfoy...

"I'm scared... Don't leave me..."

I couldn't feel the caresses of the raindrops anymore...

"Hermione..."

It was so weird, so strange. I had never heard him call my first name... And it torched something within me... the desire to live.

I took in a deep, lifegiving breath and opened my eyes slowly and saw Malfoy's face, and his bruised cheek.

And I don't know why I smiled at him.

And I don't know why he smiled back at me.

You know Malfoy, you have a brilliant smile.

None of us had the courage to shatter the tranquil silence between us, we just stared into eachother's eyes, and I thought I was getting lost in the depth of his watery eyes.

Here comes the rain again... falling from the stars...

"I'm thirsty... Malfoy." I mouthed the words.

He placed my head on the cold ground and brought his hands together and looked up at the crying sky. Raindrops slowly filled the bowl made by his pale hands and he brought them to my lips. I drinked the pure water with childish glee, and my lips touched his soft skin.

We stared into eachother's eyes again, and for a fleeting second, we forgot who we were...

And the silence engulfed us, only disturbed by the music of the pouring raindrops and the tappings of the signpost on it's pole.

It wasn't us who broke the stillness. It was harry's highpitched shout, "HERMIONE!!"

Malfoy turned his head and looked at the crumpled man approaching him.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HER, YOU FILTHY DEATHEATER.!!"

Before I could say anything, Harry charged at Malfoy and knocked him out. He fell to the ground limply and I watched him as he rolled down the steep hill.

I prayed that he would make it alive.

"Hermione, are you ok?" I saw Harry's figure running toward me.

"Oh God, no..." Harry covered his mouth with his hand and stared at a spot around my abdomen.

"Harry...?" He looked into my eyes, and the fear written in those emerald orbs made me numb with fright.

"Harry... save him... " I pleaded with my eyes.

And the darkness tinged the corner of my eyes again.

"Save him, save me."

**A\N:** This chapter was longer than the previous one, and **REVIEW!!!! REVIEW REVIEW... **How can I make you review? If you don't, I will leave this story and delete it!! But that would be a very bad idea, because I have some goooooood plans for this one, review ok?


	3. Chapter 3

I looked at his stony face and his clenched jaw. I couldn't react properly to the word that had just come out of his mouth. He uttered the words so slowly and carefully that I doubted they could slice his tounge.

"Ron is dead."

Three simple words, Ron is dead, ok... fine. He's dead.

He's dead, just like my parents, just like Dumbledore and so many other people, What's new?

I stared blankly at Harry, I had just woken up from what looked like death and he disturbed me with those old news. He looked messy and tired, and his eyes had gotten so hard that I thought they were about to shatter.

He opened his mouth but his voice took awhile to become audible. "I found him behind a large rock, he was hit by an Avadakedavra before rolling and plummeting down the valley, so I don't think he has felt any pain." He explained in a tone similar to someone reading the list of burnt furnitures in a fire.

**He's dead, it doesn't matter if he has felt any pain at all.**

I shifted in the uncomfortable bed which I had woken up in and looked at the blank wall in front of me and then at the empty bed beside my own bed. I could see the remaining of what looked like urine on it's surface.

Should I be feeling guilty? Is he expecting me to shed tears for Ron?

"Hermione... " He called me in the same tone.

"Harry, I want to be alone." I said in a hoarse voice, my dry throat stang and I coughed a few times. I lied to him, I didn't want to be alone, I just didn't want to be with him. I didn't want to look into his eyes, they were making me feel ashamed.

"Alright." He muttered and turned on his heel to leave the room but stopped and looked at me again.

"By the way, Malfoy is alive, but he's still unconscious." He looked at me for awhile and I felt like he was blaming me for Malfoy's well being. Then he nodded and left without saying anything else. Ok, Ron is dead, Malfoy is alive and life is fair.

I shifted in the uncomfortable bed again. My back ached badly. I looked down at my left arm, it was natural again, thank God. I wiped the sweat that had formed on my brow with my hand and cursed the hot and foul air, afterall, it was November.

I looked at the blank wall again and tried to think about what I was going to do. But harry's voice echoed in my mind. _Ron is dead Ron is dead Ron is dead Ron is dead..._

Ron is dead? He's gone?

I remembered his voice when he called me and told me to be careful. He was the only one worring about me, and now... he's dead. Just like my parents just like Dumbledore, the only people that I loved. They are all gone...

I sighed and shifted painfully in my place.

_He's alive..._

I remembered his bruised cheek and the blood which was flowing freely out of the rift on his pale eyebrow.

_He saved you..._

I remembered his warm mouth whispering my name in my ear.

_And he saved you again..._

And his broken fingers pouring water in my desirous throat...

I clutched my stomache and vomited on my clenched fists. My life is so disgusting... so so so so disgusting.

Then I cried myself to sleep.

**A/N: Hey, I've been away for so long... I know this chapter is really short but review it ok? If you want this story to be continued, review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** I wrote this chapter only for my dear reader, Gwinna. Gwinna is the only one who reviews this story. I love you Gwinna :- .

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I could've sworn that I saw his eyelids twitch.

They said he hasn't shown any signs of consciousness for three days, and probably he wouldn't show any at all. I hadn't believed them, I'd just seen his eyelids twitch.

I don't trust anyone anymore. People lie so much these days, they stare into each other's eyes and rub their lies into their listener's skin, or inject it into eachother's veins, or just spray it in the air and let peaple draw it hungrily into their lungs. They know what they say is untruth, that those are just a bunch of pure fairytales right out of their foolishly optimistic minds, but they believe it. They live in their lies. They cherish their lies. They worship their lies.

Like 'we are winning this war' or 'the dark side has lost all it's strength' and all those rubbish. We all know that we are losers, have been losers from the begining.

After three long years, all we have found are two Horcruxes. And we have lost a major part of our army.

I sighed and shifted uncomfortably in my seat. Sitting there and watching a nearly dead Malfoy wasn't the most interesting thing at all. All he did was breathe regularly, so damn regularly that after a short time, it made my head ache.

I lied to those liar mediwitches. I told them that I was worried about Malfoy and I wanted to see him, wanted to watch him and give him hope and tell him that he would make it and wait for the moment he showed signs of life. I lied and they quirked their eyebrows in response, but they brought me here anyway. I wasn't worried about him. actually, I didn't give a damn. I just went there to escape from their stares.

Their stares, I mean harry's and Ginny's and Dean's and Weasley twin's and so many other people's stares who I didn't even know. And worst of all, Molly Weasley's stares.

She comes to my room everynight. She doesn't speak, but she doesn't need words to tell me how much she blames me for Ron's death. She stares at me, she sniffles occasionally. Most of the times I don't look into her eyes but sometimes, I turn my head and give her a lame smile, just to lessen the awkwardness.

But she never smiles back, she doesn't frown, pout or cry. She just stares blankly, and her blankness kills me.

Why doesn't she spew out her sorrow? I was such a good friend for Ron, so I'd be chastised in Ron's stead. But she never says anything.

I know when she comes. Right after my disgusting dinner, I hear her plodding down the corridor. Then slowly, she opens the door and creeps in my room. I pretended to be asleep last night but after some minutes, I turned back and gave her a weak smile. Somehow lying to her had gotten impossible. Tonight, I escaped, I thought I'd find something interesting here, but I was wrong.

I had been staring at Malfoy for the past two hours and my eyes had dried.

And I would be staring at Malfoy for the next two hours, had Malfoy not done those weird things.

Malfoy had gotten really fragile and thin and he was as pale as his bedcovers, or maybe even paler. He looked like a... ghost.

And then suddenly, he started floating like ghosts! I swear he was levitating above his bed. I could see his head hanging freely and his hands swaying. He turned back and showed me his bruised cheek then smiled at me. I fell back and knocked my head on something hard.

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When I woke up, I saw a young mediwitch eyeing me with suspicion written all over her face.

"What are you doing on ground, Miss Granger?"

How. Stupid.

"I wanted to know how it feels to fall and hit my head on your hospital's floor." I hissed and tried to rise to my feet but a jolt of unbearable pain shot through my body.

Oh please, don't tell me that I have fractured my bones.

"Oh Miss Granger, I think you have fractured your pelvis."

**Damn. Stupid. Witch.**

The mediwitch cast a narcotic spell and then a soporiferous one, but she didn't bother asking me for permission. I wanted to know what had happened to Malfoy.

That was the last thing I thought before falling back to a dreamless sleep.

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Illusory perception; a common symptom of severe mental disorder.

That was it, Malfoy wasn't a ghost. It was just an event perceived during a hallucinatory episode, by me.

The mediwitch told me that Malfoy was still in his comatose state, breathing regularly. I didn't believe her, so she levitated me to his room and I saw him on his bed. I even counted his breathing to make sure it was regular.

She brought me back to my room one hour ago. Before leaving me, she broke down and cried beside my bed, mumbling something between her sobs that I couldn't catch. But I think she was impressed by how much I cared about Malfoy. Because after she calmed down herself, she said that:

"I'm happy to know that love still exists."

I didn't get what she meant right away. But some minutes after she left me, I understood that she thought I was in love with Malfoy or something.

How. stupid.

**If I get to see her again, I will tell her that love only exists in fairytales.**

I tried to sleep, but a question kept itching my brain.

Do I really care about Malfoy? Man... I don't even care about myself.

I don't know, maybe I care about him. Because... he saved me? Yes, I owe him my life.

That's it. Now go to sleep.

_Hermione..._

He called me by my first name. That was... strange.

Go to sleep.

He gave me water...

Go. to. sleep.

**Why? Why did he save me?**

I sat up with a start and sent waves of pain washing through me. **Why did he save me in the first place? **What is he? A spy? A repentant death eater? Is he fighting for our cause?

Or he saved me because he loved me or something?

I laughed out loud and the hollowness of my laughter made me shiver. That crazy mediwitch must've influenced me somehow.

Malfoy, please wake up and answer these question.

**A/N:** Well, it seems like Hermione has lost faith in the kind part of life. But I will make her see life in another way in the next chapters. Hope you enjoyed it!


	5. Chapter 5

What the?

Two words that formed in my head when I was yanked out of sleep. Someone had almost slapped me.

"Wake up miss Granger, he's woken up... he's woken up!" A high-pitched voice penetrated my eardrum.

Wow, cool, he's woken up. But who?

I reluctantly forced my eyelids open. The young mediwitch yanked my shoulders again and smiled hysterically, causing something heavy to fall down from my chest. I looked down and recognized the book which I'd been reading last night lying scoldingly on the floor.

"You wouldn't believe it, he's woken up!" Is she a broken record?

"He woke up some minutes ago, the moment I found this out, I ran to your room to inform you."

Why? I've been reading books all night to lull myself into sleep and after finally achiving the goal, you come and destroy my efforts?

"I't like a miracle." She clasped her hands together. "It's the miracle of love!"

Love?

No...

So 'he' refers to Malfoy.

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I didn't protest, I didn't even utter a word to show my annoyance. I looked somehow... sheepish, being dragged along a hysteric-blonde-mediwitch. She dragged me to his room, almost running while speaking endlessly and turning back occasionally to give me sweet smiles.

Although my pelvis was healed completely, it still hurt. I couldn't catch up with her, but I never said a word. Why? Was I happy or something?

Yes, I was happy, unimaginably happy that it left me mute, so happy that I had forgotten my own pain. I was happy because I was finally going to find some satisfying answers to the question which kept me awake last night.

She threw the door to Malfoy's room open and shoved me in.

The first thing I saw was an empty bed, then I turned my head toward the bed I knew Malfoy had formerly occupied, and the first person I saw was Lupin.

Thin and pale, and his clothes were shabbier than ever. He looked worn out and pensive.

I looked around the room, Tonks, Harry, an on-the-verge-of-tears Ginny, were huddling around... someone who looked like a very pale version of Argus Filch on Malfoy's bed. So where was my hero?

I laughed out loud, hero? Well, his act was heroic but...

Then I noticed the weird stares that I was recieving, uh... did I really laughed that loud? You know, laughing out loud is a crime these days...

"Hermione." Lupin was the first person who acknowledged my presence. Harry simply nodded his head and slightly glared at me. I ignored him and looked at Ginny and smiled. She smiled back... thank God, she wasn't like her mother.

The mediwitch waved her hands frantically, ushering everybody out from the room while mumbling something about leaving me alone with my saviour. Everyone gave me odd looks but left without saying anything. Everyone but the Argus Filch look-alike.

The mediwitch gave me an assuring squeeze on my shouder and smiled.

"I believe you know the side effects of the healing potion we give to patients with damaged organs." She closed the door behind her.

Healing potion?

It took some seconds for her words to completely sink in. Healing potion is a collection of different medications, each with its own side effects. Some common side effects are nausea, dizziness, headache, weakness, malaise, fat accumulation and... temporary change of appearance, due to major tissue recovery.

So, my hero was the Argus Filch look-alike, sitting on his bed, wrapped up in his sheets like an ancient wrinkled larvae in his protective cocoon. I tried to smother my laughter, but I couldn't.

He scowled at me and sulked but didn't say anything. I guessed he was too dizzy to think of an insult. Or maybe a nice comment? Like complimenting me on my... uh... hair?

I could see my shadow on the blank sheets of the empty bed from the fringe of my eyes, and I could tell from what I saw, that my hair wasn't 'complimentable' at all. I ran my hand absentmindedly through 'the nest' on my head and tried to tame it down, the nest, that's what Malfoy used to call my hair... but to no avail. My hair was bushier than ever.

Well, Malfoy wasn't that 'complimentable' either, I mean, who could admire Argus Filch anyway? I chuckled merrily and stopped my anxious attempts.

Malfoy frowned even more and wrinkled his face to an extent that it wasn't recognizable as a human face anymore. I laughed again. That made him even more angry, I enjoyed seeing him like that. If only Ron was here...

The mere thought of Ron made my heart squeeze.

**Ron could never come back.**

I turned my head and stared out the window, rain... It's raining. I watched the happy glidings of raindrobs on the glass for some minutes. Why does it rain whenever we're alone? I laughed bitterly again. Malfoy cleared his throat coarsely. I glanced quickly at Malfoy, he was staring out of the window as well.

He turned his head and we locked eyes, for a fleeting second as I was getting lost in the depth of his grey eyes, I thought we both ventured back into that rainy night we shared in the mountains around Hogsmeade.

**Time to ask your questions.**

I blinked a few times then smiled genuinely, even though everything has changed, getting answers is still the only thing that makes me happy. I cleared my throat.

"Welcome back Malfoy." I said hoarsely, those were the first words that I had spoken since I woke up.

Malfoy didn't react to my words, well I didn't expect a reaction anyways. Malfoy never retorted to my words unless they were insults. I don't know why I thought he would be diffrent this time, maybe because of that night? He cried with me, he was so... open and... emotional, strange, but we were both dying and...

**But he saved me. That's why I say he must be diffrent.**

I can't say I wasn't disappointed, I definitely was. But why? Because he didn't smile and wink? God, I should stop being so romantic.

Romantic? I laughed sourly again. I'm not romantic, I never was and definitely not now of all times... Stop thinking about these stupid things, focus...

But I couldn't, my eyes stung and filled with burning tears. Ron's voice echoed in my head.

_"Be careful!" That was the last thing he said._

Malfoy's face blurred and his wrinkles faded away. I tried to blink away my tears but they slid down my face instead. Malfoy smiled sweetly, his smile made his face distorted. His bruised cheek appeared again and he started floating like... ghosts.

Oh, no... another hallucination.

That was the last thing I thought before falling back and knocking my head on floor, again.

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I felt raindrops splash on my face.

_"Granger?"_

_sleep is beautiful..._

_"Granger? Do you hear me?"_

_Leave me alone... let me sleep._

_"Granger, are you crying again? Or it's raining?"_

_Just let me sleep..._

_"Granger, I'll give you water."_

_I'm thirsty..._

_"I'll call you by your first name."_

_I love the way you uttered my name that time..._

_"Just wake up."_

_I can't._

_"Please, Hermione..."_

_You called me that again._

_"I love you."_

More raindrobs splashed on my face. Torrent of raindrobs.

I opened my eyes and sat up with a start. The first thing I saw was... Fire!

"Oh thank God Hermione, you woke up at last." Ginny emerged into my vision with a glass of water in her hand.

"Fire...?" I muttered weakly.

"What?" Ginny frowned. Her head was on fire.

"That stupid mediwitch didn't think that you're too weak, she got you here without giving you a proper breakfast."

I hate breakfasts.

"You were unconscious for some minutes."

I was?

"Are you ok?"

Where is Malfoy?

"Where... is... Mal... foy."

Ginny squinted.

"Malfoy?" She spat and narrowed her puffed eyelids more.

"He's where he was, still not saying a word." Ginny pointed to somewhere at my right. I turned my head slowly and Malfoy came into my vision, still looking like a giant larvae in his cocoon.

"The mediwitches say that he's too dizzy to answer our questions." Ginny spat angrily again. "I don't believe them. He's playing us."

"He's not."

Ginny turned her head and looked at me incredulously. Why? Why did I say that?

"Uh... let's get out of this room. You need a proper meal." Yes I need it. I nodded my head and rose to my feet with Ginny's help. She opened the door and exited the room, I followed suit but before closing the door, I don't know why I popped my head in, while still holding the doorknob and said:

"Thank you."

I thought I saw Malfoy nod.

That was enough for me, and I was unexplanably happy.

**A/N:** Wow, I stayed awake all night and wrote this chapter, why? Because I had **_REVIEWS!!!!!!_** Thank you thank you thank you. Gwinna, Arfa, Just LooKin ArounD, Millka and anyone else who reads this story. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, tell me what you think.

**PS:** You see, Hermione really wants Draco to love her, because she needs love. But how about Draco? Does he really love Hermione? That will be revealed in the next chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **This chapter may seem to be a little confusing, but all of the conflicts and complications will be answered in the next chapters.

_Either she's dead, or she's just trying to scare me._

I stared at my untouched breakfast. Her gloomy shadow had covered half of the plate and it's weird shape had frightened me to a point I preferred facing a group of deatheaters without a wand to touching it's poisoned contents. I set my tea cup back on the saucer with a delicate clink, but the short metallic sound made me jump and I almost coughed to death.

She didn't move, even her expression didn't change. Dead, she was.

I wiped the remainig tea and saliva from my lips and gave her another limp smile. Looking at her face made my stomache knot, her features were lined with guilt and sorrow and she seemed... dead. Even though I could feel her breathing on my face, I was sure that she had died long ago.

I was cornered on my bed and her merciless stares had pinned me down for what seemed like hours. I was hungry, starving to be exact but I didn't dare to touch my food. She was like... dementors, sucking life and happiness away and the shadow she cast on my lap was poisoning me, suffocating me.

I drew a shaky breath then exhaled in a short wheeze as my lungs struggled to find Oxygen. This was... killing me, her presence, her stare, her short and warm breathing, her fiery hair, her sorrow, her dead son...

The room spinned around me and my head felt so heavy. The air thickened, the sickening smell of raw blood and flesh reached my nose. Small dots of light began marching before my eyes and suddenly I knew if I stayed there any longer, I would simply die. I focused the remaining particles of strength in me and tossed the heavy sheet and the breakfast tray away into the air.

This was absolutely insane, scampering away with a newly healed pelvis like that and knocking over every object that happened to be on my way, but I had no other choices. She was killing me, slowly and silently. I stretched my hand forward and right when my finger tips touched the coldness of the doorknob...

"I saw him last night."

Even though her voice was low and even, it choked with animal rage, I froze in my place.

"He was walking on water." Shivers traveled up and down my spine and my knees started shaking violently, I could feel her hair flaming even though I couldn't see her.

"He was looking for you." I couldn't remember how to breathe anymore...

"He was sad." The venom secreted by her words clutched my throat.

"He told me something." No, no I don't want to hear it...

"He told me three words." My mind stopped functioning.

"Do you know what they were?"

Kill Hemione Granger?

"I love Hermione." She spat the words and I thought they slashed my neck in sweeping storkes.

Minutes passed, or pehaps hours passed, maybe days or even weeks... I didn't move, I didn't make a sound, I didn't find the courage to break the stillness. I could feel the weight of her shadow on my shoulders.

Then suddenly the door opened and slammed me on my face. I fell on ground and the venomous flames of agony torched something around my pelvis...

again.

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_Harry sliced the stale bread carefully into four pieces, then sighed and reluctantly placed the small pieces in Ron's hand._

_"I'm not hungry." He lied, we all knew how hungry he was, just as hungry as each one of us._

_Ron cleared his throat uncomfortably._

_"Harry, don't be a fool." I whispered harshly._

_The other three glared at me._

_"Harry isn't a fool." Ginny's voice was weak, but it burned with love. She glared at me and I felt her blaming me for..._

_I opened my mouth to say something, but their stares, their stares shut me up once again. My chin trembled and my throat dried and stang. They wanted me to go._

_"We can't stay here any longer." Harry sighed and glanced at me again. I swallowed nervously._

_"I'm thirsty." Dean snarled and glared at me. Everybody glared at me again, I could see their eyes flashing furiously in the darkness of the cave. They looked like hungry werewolves._

_I swallowed again._

_"We will draw straws." Harry whispered and everybody shivered._

_He picked the twigs and held them in front of our faces, then broke one of them and hid them behind himself._

_"Pull one." He whispered after showing the twigs again._

_No one moved._

_The walls of the cave trembled when a curse hit it. Ginny looked up at me pleadingly. I saw a single glittering tear sliding down her withered cheeks and getting lost in the dark abyss of her collar._

_My throat dried and stang again. I stretched my hand forward to pull a twig but..._

_"No twigs, you're going." I thought I saw everybody smile._

_They wanted me to die._

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It was definitely midnight. That was the only thing I knew so far.

Oh, and my back ached really badly, and I could feel a dull throbbing pain in my temples.

And God, I was hungry.

And I was... lonely.

And scared.

I couldn't remember anything.

I looked around in the darkness, where was I? I could see silent silhouettes of rows and rows of empty beds, all covered under thick and blank sheets.

Hospital...? I suggested, and strangely enough, memories began springing back to my head. And I don't know why I was sure if I didn't get to see Malfoy...

I would simply die.

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St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries had always been bustling with life. The exteriors of the hospital were red-bricked and dirty, which had been the complete opposite of the interiors. Inside, everything used to be very neat and looked exactly as a hospital should.

But after the war had begun, everything about the hospital changed. No more life could be seen anywhere. No more joy, no more laughter, not even when a new baby was born. There was grime and dirt everywhere. Puddles of blood and pus, urine, vomitus and so many other unpleasnt fluids made hospital's air foul.

Sometimes, I thought I could see the shadow of death looming on every single bed in the wards.

I always thought that St Mungo's Hospital had become one of the most depressing places in the world. But that night, I was assured. It was 'the most depressing' place in the world. And not only depressing, but the most disgusting and the scariest hospital that I have ever seen.

I limped in the dark corridors while clutching my stomache. With every step I took, I could feel the friction between my fractured pelvis' parts, the pain was unbearable. But I couldn't go back to the room that had been poisoned by her presence, and my own nightmares.

The corridors were so dark that I had to run my spare hand along the cold walls to find my way and avoid getting lost in the sheer blackness looming over me. I was frightened, I was shivering, sweating and panting heavily. The air felt thick, almost tangible and the moans and howls of patients filled the dark corridors with misery. My heart started beating crazily.

I had to find the flight of stairs to floor 4, where Malfoy was waiting for me.

Suprisingly, and disgustingly suprisingly, the mere thought of seeing him for one more time gave me strength.

And I hated myself for it.

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I Stopped at his door and took a deep breath, the long journey had left me completely exhausted. My hand hovered over the doorknob for some seconds. What if he's been moved to somewhere else? What if he's dead? what if he ignores me?

And worst of all, what in the world am I doing here?

But my hands had a mind of their own. They turned the doorknob and opened the door for me, it gave out a little creak as it swung on it's hinge. My feet creeped to his silent room. The first thing I saw was the empty bed again, marked with stripes by the pale moonlight peeking through his window.

**Is he here?**

The even rhythm of his breathing caressed my ears. It was a music I knew better than any other sounds in the world. I was inexplicably happy.

I turned my head and saw him on his bed, asleep and peaceful. Moonlight had showered his pale figure and made his hair glow strangely. I stepped closer and saw his face. He looked like himself and his sheets weren't wrapped around him like a cocoon anymore.

He wasn't a larvae anymore, he had become a butterfly. I smiled inwardly.

I stepped closer to his bed and knelt down to have a better view of his face. There was no wrinkles on his perfect skin and his bruised cheek had been healed completely, but he still looked extremely pale... and thin. He needed good care.

I sat on ground, my pelvis screamed in protest when I put my weight on it's broken parts. But I didn't care, I felt safe in his room and that was enough for me.

Some minutes passed in silence, then my stomache growled loudly. I chuckled silently and wondered how long it's been since I've eaten food. I couldn't remember. But I didn't care, I was safe and sound as long as I was in his presence...

And then it happened. Everything was so silent and unmoving that the next thing that happened seemed to be a huge event, even though it was nothing. Suddenly and without the smallest movement, he opened his eyes.

I forgot to breathe, even my heart didn't seem to be beating. We stared into eachother's eyes for what seemed to be like eternity. I didn't move, he didn't move and I thought we could stay that way until the end of the world.

Until he blinked, then I blinked and this fleeting breaking of eye contact snapped us both back to reality. I cleared my throat and thought for a second before speaking.

"Malfoy." That was the best plan I could come up with, to act as if nothing had happened between us.

He didn't say anything, he just blinked a few times. Trying to focus, I guessed. My patience was wearing thin, I wanted to know why he had saved me.

"Malfoy." I said again, this time a little more strongly.

"I came all this way to ask you a question." Well, maybe I should've explained a little more, but I couldn't wait any longer.

He just stared at me with that expressionless mask on his face. "Why?" I took in a deep breath. "Why did you save me?" I prayed that he would answer my question.

But he didn't even blink. It was like he was frozen, or dead, and I hated him. I hated him and I hated myself for being such a fool. I thought maybe... he had been changed. Maybe he would be kind, maybe he would care... maybe he...

I blinked back my tears and sat up abruptly. Pain flamed in the pit of my stomache but I was already far too much engrossed in my thoughts that I didn't notice. I just wanted to go, wanted to run and leave behind all my foolish wistful thoughts and forget everything that happened in this week. I marched to the door and flung it open.

I was about to slam it shut behind myself when his whisper stopped me halfway through the act.

"I didn't save you."

What?

I turned around to face him.

"I didn't save you." He whispered again.

He didn't what?

"What do you mean?" I whispered and stared at his blanket, the only part of him I could see in the pale moonlight.

"I didn't save you, actually, I saved myself." I could almost hear him smirk.

No, no this can't be.

"What do you mean?" My voice trembled, my eyes scanned his blanket for answers, for something to assure me that what he was saying wasn't true.

"I saved you, because I knew no deatheater would come back to find me." My mind was trying to comprehend his words.

"If I hadn't saved you, I would've either died there or would've been killed by one of your friends. But with you by my side, they didn't kill me."

I don't believe this.

"But you said that you caught me, you tried to stop me from falling, didn't you...?" I was pleading unwilingly.

"Don't be a fool mudblood, that was an accident. You bumped into me and I lost my balance..."

"SHUT UP!" I screamed on top of my lung. My head felt light, light like a balloon, a balloon about to burst. This couldn't be true...

Please, tell me it's just a joke...

"Truth is inevitable Granger."

Something broke in my chest.

"What now? You're trapped here, I'll go and tell everyone that you're a... you... they will take you to Azkaban, THEY WILL KILL YOU!" tears started rolling down my flushed cheeks.

"You won't!" His voice was rising.

"WHY NOT?" I stamped my feet.

"BECAUSE I WON'T LET YOU." He almost shouted.

"HOW?" I screamed.

"I don't know Granger but I WILL NOT LET YOU." His voice was much louder than mine.

We were silent for some minutes, both panting heavily as if we had run a long distance.

"This is ridiculous, you can't even move!"

"SHUT UP!" He shouted and tried to get up and sit on his bed, but failed.

"You're paralyzed!"

"I'M NOT."

"YOU ARE!"

"WHAT IS GOING ON?" It was Harry, from somewhere behind me.

I turned back and saw him leaning on the door frame, clutching his chest and panting. I ran to him and grasped his robe.

"He's a liar." I wailed in self-pity.

Harry glared at Malfoy. "I know." Oh Harry, please forgive me for my foolishness, how could I be so mean to you? You're my best friend...

I buried my face in his assuring clutch of robe and sobbed my heart out. He dragged me out of Malfoy's room.

And I didn't see Malfoy trying to smother his own sobs with his pillow.

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I dragged the rich aroma of coffee into my lung and closed my eyes. Harry's stares were making me nervouse, again.

"Hermione, what were you doing in his room?" I opened my eyes and looked at him. Harry had told me that I could refuse answering his question. But when he asked it, he didn't look like he wasn't going to recieve a proper answer.

I sipped my coffee slowly. Well, we were having a rather childish and painful quarrel... But I wasn't going to tell anyone about this. That would prove it, make it happen, make it real. I didn't want this...

Suddenly, Harry rose to his feet and made me jump.

"I know that there is something going on between you two." He hissed and narrowed his eyes.

"Whatever it is, I hope it doesn't concern Ron's death." He slammed the door of my room shut and the sound made me jump again.

**Why?**

**Haven't I had enough?**

**A/N: **Writing this chapter was really hard, I hope it turned out good. Well, Hermione's injured again, I had to find excuses to keep her in the hospital anyway. Draco's reason for saving Hermione is still a mystery but don't worry, I'll make him speak! tell me what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

"You don't have a clue."

I don't?

She glanced at me with her blaming eyes and uttered the words:

"You don't have a clue."

I don't?

But I do.

I have all the clues about it.

I was there when he died, I was injured and I bled to death. And she tells me I don't have a clue about how she feels? How her mother feels?

How insolent.

She ran her sweaty fingers along the wall and they left a faint trace behind them. Then she looked at me again.

"She's getting worse." Yeah, I know, she was killing me the last time we met.

"I really don't know what to do." She sat on a chair, burried her face in her hands and sighed heavily. For a second, I thought she was falling down from the chair.

"Did she scare you?" She looked up and whispered.

"No."

No?

Liar...

She nodded her head and sighed again.

"Harry's getting worse too."

Harry... my heart squeezed and secreted the heavy poison of sorrow into my chest once again. Harry. is. a. fool.

"Hermione, why did this happen to us?" Her eyes searched my face for a convincing answer.

I shook my head and sent my dirty curls dancing mockingly around my face, I really really didn't have a clue about this one.

She sighed and stood up.

"Hermione, I'm really sorry that I slammed you with that door, I'm sorry..." She looked at me timidly. I nodded and smiled lamely.

"And I'm sorry about what my mother said... she no longer knows what she's doing..." She shook her head slightly.

"I have to go now, she's alone... you know..." Yes I know, she might try to kill someone else. The thought sent shivers down my spine.

She kissed me on my cheek and turned on her heal to go, but suddenly stopped.

"Hermione." She turned back and looked at me, then squinted her eyes and wrinkled her brow, like she was trying to see through me, as if I was something semi-translucent.

"Harry said something about you..."

Harry... is a fool.

"...and Malfoy last night..."

No.

"What were you doing in his room?"

I hate this question.

I stared at her, contemplating whether I should tell her or keep the secret? It wasn't like we were doing something forbidden, but... I didn't want her to know. I didn't want her to think I was an idiotic romantic...

ROMANTIC? Did I just say that?!

She quirked her eyebrows patiently.

"C'mon 'mione, you have to tell me." It was weird, she was smiling, a genuine and sweet smile. Not one of those tearful types she'd used to give everyone since Ron's death. She leaned closer to me.

"Is there something between you two?" She whispered the question in a way that made my heart skip a beat. No, no definitely there wasn't.

"Is he a spy?" She straightened up and chuckled mirthfully.

"I don't trust him." She wrinkled her nose then beamed.

I don't either.

"But if you trust him, I'll trust him blindly." She chuckled again and her voice resonated in the empty room. "Because I believe in you Hermione." She smiled and nodded her head approvingly. Then waved and left me alone, her fiery head vanishing behind the wooden door.

But the thing is, I don't trust him, I don't even think I know him.

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I was gathering my books when someone knocked on my door.

"Come in..." My voice reluctantly got out of my throat.

The door creaked open and the young mediwitch's head came into view.

"Are you ready Miss Granger?"

I looked at my things scattering around the room. A lump rose to my throat.

"I'm not." I almost mouthed the words, the lump wouldn't let my voice get out.

She pressed her lips together impatiently.

"I can help you if you want." She offered, looking displeased by my painstaking attention to gathering my books.

I shook my head and looked back at my things. My stomach knotted painfully.

I heard her sigh and close the door.

I closed my eyes and wished that time would stop flying.

Just didn't want to go home...

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The mediwitch almost shoved me in the green flames.

"Say your destination's name."

Thanks for reminding me.

I tried to open my mouth but my lips were stubbornly glued together. The Mediwitch's eyelid twitched angrily.

"You want to go to Diagon Ally, right?"

Thanks for reminding me again.

Leaky Cauldron, I wanted to shout it, but all that escaped my lips was a muffled whimper, as if my words had passed through thick layers of cloth.

The mediwitch shifted her weight to her other foot and crossed her arms.

I tried to shout again, I wanted to scream and leave the hospital as soon as I could. But the thought of me sitting alone in my livingroom had clutched my throat and wouldn't let me say anything.

The mediwitch rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to say something...

"I want to see Malfoy."

This time, my voice was as clear as ever.

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My pale hands slowly knocked on his door, I could feel my knees trembling. I closed my eyes and wished he wouldn't hear me knock.

Just didn't want to be alone with him ever again...

"Come in." His reluctant drawl from beyond the door showed me that he wasn't looking forward for anyone's presence... and it just made everything worse. I took in a deep breath and turned the doorknob and stepped in...

The empty bed was neatly made and sunlight had made it's white sheets glow. I stared at it for some seconds, mesmerized by it's simple beauty. But a scornful sound from Malfoy's throat reminded me that I was right in front of him.

I could see his creepy shadow from the fringe of my eye, coloring the dirty white floor a vague gray. He was rocking his right foot.

He made another incoherent sound, as if trying to chuckle or laugh.

I sighed tiredly.

"You're not the only one who has forgotten how to laugh, Malfoy." I spat the words and turned my head and the confused look on his face met my eyes. He stopped rocking his foot immediately and frowned.

He was... messy, messy and dirty, and pale, like a ferret...

"What..." He croaked, then cleared his throat.

"What are you doing here?" This time his drawl was clear and strong.

I sighed again. "Nothing..." I shrugged, not having anything else other than the truth to tell him.

He looked confused once again. "Then what are you doing here?"

He was taken aback by his own smart question and looked confused even more. He really was... a baffled ferret... so lost and so funny.

We were silent for some seconds, maybe the humor was too high for us to grasp it.

And then it happened, I couldn't help it. It was weird, and fun and pleasant, laughing loudly from deep inside your heart. One of those laughes that leaves you shedding tears of mirth and feeling light like a feather swaying in wind.

And God, I really needed something like a good laugh, at least it would encourage me enough to go back to my dreadful house.

I clutched my stomach and inhaled in a short wheeze as my lungs struggled to find oxygen. Laughing at Malfoy when he looked confused and upset wasn't a very clever idea. So I looked up at him, expecting to see him sneering or smirking, I even thought I would get a nasty comeback or something. That was why his pale smile made me yelp in surprise.

**A/N:** Wow, I've been away for soooooo looooong, I know... I know, but it's school and we had a lot of homework to do and it's my last year and... so on...

Sorry! That's all I have to say. Hope this short chapter was apology enough! I'll update sooner, I promise.

And don't forget to review, thank you.


	8. Chapter 8

They were glowing and glistening when moving. Pale, golden silky stringes, weaved loosely to make a delicate halo on top of his head. And the sunlight from the window was so strong and beautiful that I was nearly blinded.

The white sheets shined and the walls flashed brightly. The sweet smell of newly washed clothes filled my nose and intoxicated me even more. The room was white and blank and vague, stirring before my eyes and the only thing I could clearly see was...

His smile.

His weak pale smile, emitting that strange light... and blinding me.

I blinked a few times, but no matter how much I closed my eyes and pressed my eyelids together, the brightness, the strange light wouldn't die down. His smile woudn't fade away, as if it had been etched on my pupils.

Then a tickling sensation engulfed me and left goosebumps all over my skin. My heart started beating crazily and my stomache knotted again, but this time it was diffrent.

Diffrent from everything that I had ever exprienced. Something like an adrenaline rush, but in a much diffrent way. In a way that I did... not... wanted...it... to end, as if I was addicted to it.

A smile formed on my lips and blood rushed to my face. Who would have thought a simple smile from him could have so many effects on me?

My knees gave in, seeing themself humbler than having the strength to stand in front of such marvelous exprience. I sat on the white floor and for a second, I thought I could actually sink into it. I swayed and chuckled like a drunk.

His smile grew wider and I thought it blinded me at last. Never... knew... how blissful it was to get lost in this white blindness.

I leaned my head on something soft and made myself comfortable to lie and watch his smile... for ever.

But someone opened the door and made dark shadows leak into our little white haven. My blindness flew away and I snapped back to reality. I saw that I was lying on dirty floor and... his smile faded away and what a big tragedy it was.

"Hermione."

A low, cold voice, simply called my name and freezed my heart.

The fool...

"Potter."

The word came out of his mouth so venomously that I couldn't believe that the same lips were smiling sweetly just moments before. I couldn't look at him anymore, I turned my haed and saw the fool standing in front of me and glaring at me.

"Hermione." The fool spat my name as if it had tarnished his tongue.

"What are you doing in my room Potter? Get lost!"

The fool didn't take his eyes off of me.

"You two are in love, right?"

Suddenly, my head felt light, so light that I thought it was actually starting to levitate. Malfoy made another incoherent sound.

"You two killed Ron, right?" Is it a dream? yes, it can never happen, right? I'm seeing a nightmare.

"Hermione? How could you?" I'm not here, not in this room with Harry in front of me, accusing me of being a killer. No, I'm in my bed... just a dream...

"She didn't kill Weasely." Malfoy's voice was clear and strong. What a dream... Malfoy is defending me now...

"I did not ask you!" Harry wasn't looking at him. "Hermione, tell me, did you kill Ron?"

Did I?

I don't know!

I don't remember?

I did, didn't I?

"I killed him."

Harry finally averted his gaze and stared at Malfoy instead.

**A/N:** Wow I love cliffhangers!! Ok, this chapter is really short, I know but I couldn't resist updating it because I love cliffhangers!! Well, Hermione seems to overcome her denial at last, she really loves Draco, doesn't she? Oh I'm so happy! Cliffhangers make me Happy! Great, now I sound like a maniac!


	9. Chapter 9

Gracefully, they fell down and the thirsty floor absorbed them with great greed. I felt a pang of sadness in my chest, they were so beautiful, too beautiful to die this unceremoniously.

Another pair started dancing around your silvery pupils, they gathered together, took each other's hands and hopped upon the marbly surface of your face, wrinkled by the pain you couldn't bear, gliding freely and shining and then falling down and fading, once again.

The fool took off his glasses and heaved a heavy sigh. He rubbed his eyes so hard that I thought he was trying to gouge them out and then throw them out of the window.

Look! Another one's gliding!

"I didn't want to."

Your face wrinkled more, sure you didn't want to. Paler than ever, you looked like a chost with cheeks burning blood red.

"I'm not saying it was an accident."

Sure you're not saying something stupid like that, nothing is accidental in this world. Everything has been planned, our fates are written on our faces. We get what we deserve, nothing more, nothing less.

Even seeing you in the battlefield wasn't an accident, and Ron's death... You had planned to kill him, hadn't you?

A single one got lost in your collar.

The fool made a sound that was... disapproving? Menacing? Angry? Sad? I wasn't sure.

"I'll tell you what happened... I'll tell you everything."

No... don't say everything... please, I really don't think I could stay awake untill you finish your story. My eyes sting, my head feels heavy... am I dying?

Am I insane?

You didn't care about what I thought, you didn't care about me at all. You didn't even look into my eyes even for once! How rude! Your eyes were glued to the ground.

You started telling your tale, at first you went on slowly, sometimes stopped talking to sigh and shake your head, but after some minutes, you became a chatterbox, talking endlessly and babbling and trying to justify your deeds.

And those beautiful tears never stopped dancing on your flushed cheeks, gliding down, shining, falling and fading... how free, how reckless... was that the way Ron fell? I wished I could flow with them, so pure, so sheer, glide, shine, fall down and fade away from everyone's memory.

"That was how I killed him." You whispered the words and finished your story, each syllable took it's time to reflect the guilt you were feeling.

So, you killed Ron to save Harry? You killed him to save me? To save us all? Because deatheaters wanted a sacrifice and Ron was the chosen one? How many times should I think about how I can repay this debt you're drowning me into?

Harry was petrified, I couldn't hear him breathe. The whole room had turned into stone, the only moving things were your beautiful tears...

You took your eyes off of ground and glanced at harry nervously.

"I don't believe you." Was that what you wanted to hear from him all the time? Now he uttered the words for you and I almost hear you heave a sigh of relief.

Malfoy? Who would believe that? Do you think we're stupid?! I bet Harry wanted to say something along those lines, had he had more breath to waste. Breathing is so hard these days...

"Nonsense!" Harry almost shouted. "Hadn't your father told you that a Malfoy never saves a Griffindor's life... or... or anyone's life?"

Then again, hadn't your father told you that a Malfoy never cries?

Why in the world you don't look at me Malfoy?

"You're right, what I told you was quite unblievable. But that is the truth and there's nothing you can do about it. Believe it or not, the truth cannot be changed." Your word rang in my head and I saw a blurry vision of a head on fire, dancing and falling down gracefully into a dark abyss.

And I saw the intense fear written on the green orbs behind thick glasses.

Then I saw dark and sad pools of silver, cold and dead, staring into my soul, and pale slender fingers, pouring water in my throat. Your lips called my name so close to my ear... did you cry that night?

Harry sniffled and snapped me back into your room. Was he crying?

"Truth? What is truth? It does not exist. It died so long ago... it died with Dumbledor." Harry whispered the words and made your beautiful tears start their chore again. Glide, shine, fall...Then he stood up and left your room, slamming the door behind him. He really seems to be doing this act too much lately.

I slowly turned my head and looked at your crumbled form, the wicked thought finding it's way to my brain...

Now it's only you and me...

Alone.

What should I do? Should I leave your room? Should I cry? should I shout at you the words you shouted at Ron? Should I make you fall down like your tears? Shoud I kill you?

Or should I kiss you instead??

Your head was bent down and you were not looking at me.

I stood up but you didn't look up at me.

I stepped closer to you, closer and closer, the sound of my hesitant steps filled your empty room. But you... didn't look up.

I stood before you, then I knelt down at your feet, I tried to find your gaze, to look into your eyes, but you had them closed.

So I brought my fingers to your face, my icy finger tips touching your flushed cheeks and making a fiery tickle in my hand.

You opened your eyes, but you didn't look at me. Your stare was glued to ground.

So, I raised my head...

and kissed you.

On your forehead, of course.

**A\N:** Whew... took so long to update, sorry. Short chapter, I know... and I didn't explain much. ok, I'm not having any good plan about why Draco killed Ron, I gave it a lot of thought but couldn't come up with anything better than this. would you help me? Feels like an author block...


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